Some of you may have noticed the yummy citrus August release bars have yet to be available for sale. I have them. They just need labels printed. I think I even wrote the website description weeks ago. But my world broke 2 weeks ago and everything is just...behind.
I lost a dear friend and neighbor. Someone I thought would always be there ripped from our lives in milliseconds, kind of loss. Her name and any family specifics have been omitted here to protect their privacy in this public space. But so many of you have become dear friends to me, so I wanted to tell you about her and explain why the emails haven't been written and the limited edition releases have stalled.
I have plenty of soap for you! And please do keep ordering as it gives my brain and hands something to do. But for now I'm here to say this person mattered so much and I want everyone to know about it.
We have almost zero photos of each other, together. Any photos shared were of our gardens or recipes, pictures of chickens or the dog, things we'd made we were proud of. Typically for her a dress she'd made, and a new soap design from me.
As my tears flowed, scrolling through 9 years of text messages, I was struck by the beautiful mundane of them all. We didn't talk about anything. And yet we talked about everything:
"Turns out 6:15 am is the best viewing time for the super blue blood moon tomorrow."
"Fresh snow and high of 17 in the AM. Want to try to run Wed/Fri this week?"
"I don't have cream cheese so I went brown butter frosting instead, adding maple syrup and bourbon :) "
Texts exchanged from bed at 6 am making sure the other one was actually awake for our run, or if we both decided we were crazy and just needed to sleep.
Texts about locking up the chickens, leaving the keys for this or that. Me bringing her a beer on a Friday night, or her asking me to come out and sit by the bonfire.
The last text we shared was about how much we both loved the cricket chorus coming from her backyard. And happily, there are so many texts where we each affirmed the other was, "the best neighbors."
She wasn't my, "best friend" but she was like a sunrise. Reliable. Consistent. Always there.
Darling, you are (I cannot say were, yet) such an incredible human in so many ways. We're all just a wreck and are going to do our best to make you proud and live our lives like you would have, full of ambition and joy and creativity and beauty. Thank you for living the beautiful mundane with me. I will be forever grateful that I got to know you and do life with you. I love you always.